I normally think through my blog posts. I want them to be encouraging and positive and insightful. So, I think and I edit and I rewrite and I format.
Today, I’m just going to let it out:
I’m so tired of people assuming that because I’m a deep-feeling, emotional, expressive person, I must also be irrational, mentally-unstable, and weak.
Being emotional is NOT being weak.
I approached an authority figure a few years ago to address a major concern I had for my child who was under this person’s tutelage. By the end of the meeting, I was crying and being totally open and honest about my feelings. I hated that I couldn’t hold these feelings inside me, because it seemed to me that this authority figure was treating me with such condescension – like I was just another ridiculous, overly-emotional, over-reacting mom. I left that meeting realizing something:
People who don’t know me well think I’m irrational and weak when I show my emotions.
It’s infuriating.
That mom you know who is battling depression and cries half the day, but still gets up every day to take care of her kids, send some of them off to school, still makes supper, still hugs her children before bed? She’s STRONG.
That teenager who quivers in their boots and with a wobbling voice, confronts their teacher about unfair treatment, all the while tears stream down their cheeks and their face is turning blotchy? They’re STRONG.
That man who cries every time he tells you about his grandchildren? He’s STRONG.
The woman who leaves a room full of “friends” who want her to be someone she isn’t – leaves the room with a chest heaving from hurt and sobs – because she refuses to bend to their strange, unspoken rules? She’s STRONG.
Don’t be ashamed of your emotions.
Emotions aren’t weakness. They’re just feelings.
You show your strength in your actions. Even if you have to carry them out wearing a shirt soaked in tears.
Emotions are a gift. Embrace them.
That being said, is this ACTUALLY how people see me EVERY time I show emotion? No, of course not. But today:
This is how I FEEL.
With FEISTY love,
Sara Jane Kehler
Sara, Living Free 
I really hope we as a society can progress enough so that something like being emotional is no longer seen in a negative way. I think there have been major strides with this but there is a long way to go yet. Being emotional is definitely not a sign of weakness — I really like how you’ve been so encouraging about tackling this perception.
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Thanks, Molly! I appreciate your encouragement.
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I meant to comment on this when I read it a while back! You concluding statement about our actions in light of our emotions is key to me. Versus someone who never gets emotional so they don’t appear weak, yet perhaps channels their struggles into harmful choices instead. I’d rather scream and cry on a regular basis than have to live with acting on my emotions in a tangible, terrible way.
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So true. My therapist actually just confirmed that for me a short while ago. I was frustrated with the anger I was feeling about a particular circumstance, and she said, “But Sara, anger isn’t bad. Anger is an emotion. Anger is useful. What do you DO with the anger? Do you lash out? If not, then do you feel guilty about a feeling?” It was like a lightbulb: Yes, I have strong emotions, but I consistently go to God with them, and I try not to take out my emotions on others.
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This is true, and ironic as well because we live in a culture (including the larger Christian culture) which screams at women that our emotions are to be validated at all costs. If our emotions lead us astray they claim, that simply means that what we were taught was the right way clearly wasn’t the right path for US. Can you think of a better definition of irrationality?
Then, when our emotions are in some way offensive or uncomfortable, they are suddenly irrational.
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Frustrating, I know.
Of course, at the root of my anger and frustration, there’s probably a good dose of pride. I hate that people misunderstand me, judge me, and write me off. Guess I have to get over myself, too.
(sigh) It’s difficult to find a balance between speaking truth and swallowing my pride.
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Why is this so true! I am told OFTEN that I am over emotional, but I am very strong! I feel things differently than they do, and standing up for yourself against a teacher or people who want you to be someone else is BRAVE. My son is the same way,and he not only stands up for himself, but for others as well.
I absolutely love this, and thank you for writing it out! 🙂
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Thanks. I shy away from the “rant” style of post, but for some reason, this one just had to come out. And it’s nice to know that someone else gets it. 🙂
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Thanks for sharing those thoughts. I absolutely agree!
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LOVE this post Sara!!!
So refreshing!
And honest!
And so true!
I absolutely agree!
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Thanks, Cindy. I felt nervous posting it because I don’t usually post things in the heat of emotion, but I think I just had to this time.
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