Self-Care: Are You an Extrovert, Introvert, or Ambivert?

You may not be who you think you are.

Today, more than ever before, you need to understand who you are and what you need to stay mentally well.

So, come alongside, and I’ll tell you a story of how I’ve lived in all three of these beautiful landsExtrovert-shire, Introvert-shire, and Ambivert-shire – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today…

You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.

Dazed and Confused

I pushed through the backdoor, tugged off my boots, and left them lying in the middle of the entrance rug. Walking into the living room, I collapsed into the softness of our couch and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath.

I felt drained. But, why?

Only a few minutes before, I had been sipping rich coffee and laughing with my friend in her kitchen. We’d had a wonderful visit during which time I had felt cheerful and energetic.

Yet, as soon as I came home, all I wanted to do was lie down and decompress. This made no sense to me; I was an extrovert…

…wasn’t I?

You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.

An Extroverted Childhood

As a child, I was often one of the loudest, most outgoing people in a room. I lived for family gatherings, school, and birthday parties.

When I was a teenager and young adult, the desire to be around my peers increased. Friends loved to have me around because I was dramatic and energetic. My expressive personality made them laugh, and I thrived on the attention. I seemed to bring energy to parties, and I also felt energized by those who were there. I loved being with people.

Always Better to Be with Someone Than to Be Alone

As an adult, I married and entered motherhood. My energy continued.

Sure, I had times when I was so exhausted that I thought I might die if I had to get up just one more time for my crying child; but most of the time, I was an enthusiastic mom.

  • You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.
  • You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.
  • You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.
  • You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.
  • You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.
  • You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.
  • You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.
  • You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.

I enjoyed the busyness of toddlers running around my feet. They were free to pull pots and pans and bowls out of every cupboard. I simply stepped over them and continued cooking or washing my dishes; I didn’t mind. We were together, and we were happy.

At times, if I found myself starved for adult interaction, I’d pack up my toddlers to visit my sister, my mom, or my friends. This is how I nurtured my sanity and cared for my soul.

It was always better to be with someone than to be alone. 

That is, until it wasn’t.

Depression Sets In

My extroverted disposition all but disappeared several years ago due to a heartbreaking series of events that occurred within a short period of time. The stress from these traumas had a cumulative effect on my body and soul until it reached a level where I couldn’t cope.

I became deeply depressed; this is when self-care took on a whole new look for me.

An Introverted Makeover

Almost overnight, it seemed, I became an introvert.

I spent hours upon hours reading, journaling, thinking, resting, and praying. I felt I couldn’t get enough time alone – not to wallow in, but to heal.

You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.

This was foreign territory to me:

  • Suddenly, a crowded room no longer felt energizing, but overwhelming.
  • The constant chattering of children became less comforting and more testing.
  • Family gatherings didn’t rejuvenate me; they tired me.

I hardly knew who I was anymore. (At times like these, when we don’t even know ourselves, we can feel invisible. Does anyone see us? If you feel lost today, find out how you are seen and loved here.)

Over time, however, and as I continued to heal emotionally, my social anxiety diminished. I became more comfortable in groups, and I desired to engage with other people.

It seemed I was slowly returning to my previous self.

Years passed. My depression withdrew. I became expressive, outgoing, energetic, and joyful again; yet, surprisingly, the introverted tendencies also remained.

You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.

Drawing Conclusions

That day on my couch after I had been visiting with my friend, I felt so confused. I began to question why there seemed to be two versions of me: sociable me and withdrawn me. I wanted to understand what was happening with my roller-coaster emotions.

If I wasn’t fully an extrovert, and I wasn’t fully an introvert, then what was I?

What’s an Ambivert?

Since then, I’ve discovered that I’m an ambivert – both an extrovert and an introvert:

  • I’m comfortable in groups and usually have a wonderful time; but I get tired if I’m around people too much.
  • I don’t feel shy about being the center of attention; but I’d just as well want someone else to be.
  • Those who meet me in certain settings think I’m highly social; while others think I’m quiet.
  • I can thoroughly enjoy a long visit or outing with others; but I can just as easily enjoy being alone all day.

Understanding who I’ve become has allowed me to create a new self-care plan that can be summed up in one word: self-awareness.

My needs fluctuate so drastically, that I must constantly ask myself, “What am I feeling right now? What do I need?”

Credit: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/im-an-ambivert

An Adjusted Look at Self-Care

I used to feel guilty if, when our family arrived home after a social event, I felt tired and irritable. Hadn’t I just been laughing, joking, and happy when we were out? Why did I feel grouchy after we got home? But now, I simply remind myself that I truly did have a good time and that it’s okay for me to need a half-hour break by myself to recharge afterward.

On the other hand, if I’ve spent many days alone and find myself feeling down, I soon realize that I haven’t been filling enough of my social needs. I’ve forgotten that I need people. So, I’ll arrange a coffee date with a friend or visit a family member; this will refresh and energize me.

If I’ve had a full schedule all week and then find myself snapping at the kids during Saturday house-cleaning, I’ll try to remind myself that a tidy house is not more important than my children’s tender hearts or my need to be alone. I’ll go to my room and journal, pray, read, or take a short nap.

You may not be what you think you are. Keep reading to find out how I’ve lived as all three – extrovert, introvert, and ambivert – and how I’ve come to embrace who I am today without trying to control tomorrow.
Me and housework don’t mix well. LOL.

The Future Me

Sometimes, I wonder: will I remain an ambivert, or will life events change me yet again? Only time will tell. Meanwhile,

I embrace who I am today.


Are You an Extrovert, Introvert, or Ambivert?

After reading about my experiences, how are you feeling about your own self-care practices? Do you recognize yourself in any part of my story? Are there changes you need to make to take better care of who you are and what you need?

I hope that by reading my story, you are encouraged to accept and embrace who you are today.



Looking for More?

  • Take this quick and easy online QUIZ to find out if you are who you think you are.

With love,

35 thoughts on “Self-Care: Are You an Extrovert, Introvert, or Ambivert?

Add yours

  1. I had no idea there was such a thing as an ambivert! Those descriptors on the list fit me to a T. Not that I’ve always be an ambivert. Years ago “extrovert” would have been my label. I wasn’t aware that personality-types can change over time either–until I realized it had happened to me. Thank you for this info, Sara. I’ll know better (and feel more confident) about how to take care of myself. Appreciate the links too, for more guidance toward that goal!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Go for it! There’s quite a spectrum that we can each fall into. What I love about finding out about this word is that it really helped me to understand myself better. I don’t have to fit into a rigid category. I’m complex!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow that was an amazing read. I feel like I have been through similar things. I was an extravert too as a child and teen but once I went through my 2 big traumatic events I became an introvert and I have since snapped out of that and don’t know what I am so maybe I’m an ambivert as well so thank you for sharing. This is why I started reading blogs and blogging myself. It’s so good to listen to people talk from the heart. Well that’s what I do and I can tell you do too. Thank you for that post. Now I’m intrigued about being an ambivert.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes they help. Keep writing. It’s very good. I get positive feedback and I agree. If I didn’t I wouldn’t know if my blog meant anything either. That’s why I think when you see something good we should stop to let them know. Thanks Sara

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I certainly learned something new about myself today. Seriously I live life in grey areas and have a hard time finding a fit. Not looking for a perfect fit but certainly some comfort. I found that spot. Ambivert! Thank you Sara for this. It is comforting.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As an INFP (Introvert and rather shy), I love these things: “I spent hours upon hours reading, journaling, thinking, resting,” [and I add] walking, meditating, and writing. MyDude is an extrovert, which is good. He gets me out and around other people, but I’m always glad to get home to unwind. He finally gets that it’s who I am.
    If you haven’t had a chance, my site is http://lynnsawler.com. In “My Notebook” I’m mainly focusing on writing and the creative process. It’s still new, but stay tuned… 🙂
    Take care. Be well!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I can relate to the changing with different seasons of life. I have been recovering from a severe burnout/crash/depression over the past two years and my healing required a lot of time to journal, read and write once my brain was able to function again. Thanks for sharing and for the link.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, we’re constantly changing.

      It’s funny: if we understand that events in childhood can shape who we are as adults, why do we think that events during adulthood won’t change us as well? I think I assumed that I’d stay who I was from age 18-100. Silly me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think I recognized as soon as I realized it was a thing, maybe 15 years ago.

        On the main, I’m perfectly happy with my own company and some music or a book. And I like to live in my head with my thoughts. Not exactly the healthiest thing but definitely an introvert thing.

        Conversely, I can -and mostly do- thoroughly enjoy a good party and conversing with other people. I can’t party till I drop like some extroverts can! I have my limits, but I’m not completely turned off by it either.

        Liked by 2 people

          1. Such an interesting post! I hadn’t really considered how this would change for people. I am definitely more introverted, but I enjoy spending time with close friends. I really hate big parties where I don’t know people though, I am seriously awkward in those situations. People that don’t know me think I’m quiet, people that do know me know better. I guess I’m a bit of both, but when it comes to social gatherings I definitely prefer quality of friends over quantity.

            Liked by 1 person

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